Sebastian Stan attends the ‘Captain America The Winter Soldier’ premiere in Los Angeles, 2014
You have to get married young. Otherwise you get too smart and you don’t do it.
my grandmother, voicing concerns about my marital status (via petals42)
Concept: Some jackass shows Bucky how to make a blog and it becomes really popular. Not because it’s the blog of James Buchanan Barnes, American Legend, War Hero, Infamous Assassin, Alleged Terrorist. Nobody even knows it’s his blog. It gets really popular because people think it’s a really great shitpost generator or something. Because Bucky is just a Weird Fucking Person and everything he posts on his fucking personal blog comes off as somewhere between dril and Jaden Smith and people are like “this is some quality garbage right here” and thus Accidental Memelord Bucky is born.
Bucky posts things like
“What is wrong with bananas. I ate a banana today and it was Wrong. America why”
“Every time I put on my eye makeup it gets bigger. My whole face is eyeliner now.”
“Why does friendship feel so much like punching”
“When I wake up in the middle of the night I am either thinking ‘who am I? does my life have meaning?’ or “did I already eat all of the plums?’”
“Why are you so grumpy” they ask me. they do not realize this is just my Face.”
“I know i said i would give my left arm for a cup of coffee but i am more awake now and i would like my arm back please”
“I guess I must have done something horrible in a past life. I mean. I definitely did something horrible in this life, so. “
OMG I LOVEEEE
YEEESSSSSSS!
“Guy in front of me won’t move his car seat up. I think that might still be upset about all those times I tried to kill him.”
“Got lectured by a guy who had been complaining about how things were Back In The Day. I don’t understand why he got upset. I too lived through the Great Depression and was drafted for the War.”
“The economy in this century sucks. Who exactly though another Stock Market crash was a good idea?”
“Apparently, it was Rude™ of me to pitch in my two cents on a conversation I happened to overhear, despite agreeing with them. On an unrelated note, I am no longer allowed in the ceiling vents.”
“‘If you don’t behave we’ll send (mutual) after you.’ Jokes on them. I’m the one who trained them to be an assassin in the first place.”
“Tried to buy a Chicken Dinner candy bar at the supermarket today. Turns out they were discontinued 54 years ago. Super bummed.”
“Wait. People were on the moon?! We got into space? There is a way off of this rock?! Why am I only just hearing about this?!”
“’Have you been living under a rock the past 50 years?’ No I was cryogenically frozen for 70. I don’t appreciate your tone young man.”
“My friend likes convincing people that I’m the Reckless one in our friendship. As if he won’t find an alley behind a bar to pick a fight in if I take my eyes off him for two seconds.”
“Why would i want to get a haircut when instead I can look like i just returned from a 12 year jaunt in the wilderness every time i grow a beard”
“was having a hard time finding noodles in the grocery store & asked a clerk for help. she looked at me like a crazy person. lady, it’s not my fault you don’t speak russian”
“what kind of idiot thinks dancers are sissies? literally every ballerina i have ever met could kill an adult man with just her legs”
“today i discovered Conditioner. the future is a miracle and my hair like a cloud now”
“apparently just jumping on to a moving bus when you are running late is not a thing people do anymore. please stop yelling at me.”
“went to a club last night to see what the hip kids were into. apparently the latest thing is just having sex standing up with your clothes on in a room full of people.”
“on the one hand, people dressed much nicer in the 40s. on the other hand, yoga pants.”
“rode in a car with heated seats today. it is my house now. i live here.”
“i have acquired a small bear. i am putting a collar and leash on him. he is my dog. no one tell animal control”
“i am working on this whole Good Guy thing but anyone who cuts me in line at starbucks deserves to have their kneecaps shot out okay”
“why did they have to make escalators so terrifying to get on and off of? from now on I’m just jumping off the mall balconies. none of this awful moving teeth staircase”
“i don’t care if it’s a ‘priceless historical artifact,’ punk, i didn’t wanna do the dishes and it makes a pretty good spaghetti bowl”
“hoodie pockets are so great. i can fit like three sandwiches and a grenade in there and my hands are still warm”
“i really though we would have flying cars by now. the future is such a letdown.”
“changed sam’s ringtone to jesus take the wheel.”
“do you know that feeling when you go to lean on your short friend’s conveniently arm-rest-height shoulder but you forget they had a huge growth spurt and you just awkwardly lean your elbow into the middle of their bicep”
“i swear i didn’t know your girlfriend was coming over. i always ominously clean my assault weapons on the coffee table like that. it had nothing to do with you.”
“anyone else got that one limb that’s super fuckin loud yeah buzz buzz i get it now buzz off ya jerk"
This post has continued to gain momentum, and some of you people have followed me over it. So I made a separate sideblog: Bucky, King of Memes.
http://buckykingofmemes.tumblr.com/
it’s literally just bucky shitposting.
OH MY GOD
@copperbadge, I feel you would appreciate this.
Consider it a prompt list.
I saw the post going around yesterday with the actual shitposting tumblr attached, and I’ve never followed a tumblr so fast in my life. 😀
Imagine Steve is happy :’)
Liquid gold sunshine has waltzed with the shadows in his room
for the past two hours and Steve has followed every step, every dip from the
comfort of his bed and Bucky in his arms.Seventy some odd years and he can finally breathe.
He lets his fingers trace lazy patterns on his boyfriend’s
back as Bucky huffs in his sleep and moves further into Steve’s embrace.
Everything from the soft puffs of air that tinkle his neck to Bucky’s limbs
thrown over his own serve as an anchor to Steve, grounding him firmly in this
reality.Bucky has always been good at bringing him back down from the
clouds, even back in the ‘40s.Now Steve gets to keep him, forever.
Years of hiding the truth, immeasurable pain and too many
deaths…it all led up to this moment. War still hasn’t ended and they might
never get to go back home like they planned, but they managed to carve their
happiness amongst all the horrors. They might never get to have a white picket
fence and grandkids, but they’ll have each other now.It won’t be Steve and Bucky, not as friends. It’ll be Steve and Bucky, a
unit. Us. We. Partners.Boyfriends.
Lovers.
Bucky mumbles unintelligently into Steve’s shoulder and shifts
to glare at Steve blearily through droopy eyelids. “You keep thinkin’. I can ‘ear
you,” he accuses, his words running together, saturated in sleep. A cluster of
indents from the sheets and Steve’s shirts scatter across his face and Steve
wants to trace every one of them. “Stop thinking, Stevie.”Steve smiles, unable to contain the warmth blazing through his
cells. “I’m just happy, Bucky.”Bucky blinks at him blankly for a few moments as his mind
catches up with his ears and then he rolls his eyes. It does nothing to hide
the smile growing on his lips. “You’re a sap, Rogers,” he bemoans, but he leans
forward to press his lips against Steve’s softly.Steve Rogers is home.
They could see a world reborn…
I was not emotionally ready for this post.
You know what.
Fuck you.
nooooooooope
ealdor 