Traditional Celtic marriage vows, better than anything I’ve ever heard:

jaguarjg:

shrineart:

merlins-total-turnip-head:

You cannot possess me for I belong to myself
But while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give
You cannot command me, for I am a free person
But I shall serve you in those ways you require
and the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand.

But there’s more of it?

I pledge to you that yours will be the name I cry aloud in the night.
And the eyes into which I smile in the morning.
I pledge to you the first bite from my meat,
And the first drink from my cup.
I pledge to you my living and dying, equally in your care,
And tell no strangers our grievances.
This is my wedding vow to you.
This is a marriage of equals.

And then there is this part.

The Priest or Priestess says:
These promises you make by the sun and the moon, by fire and water, by
day and night, by land and sea.  With these vows you swear, by the God
and Goddess, to be full partners, each to the other.  If one drops the
load, the other will pick it up.  If one is a discredit to the other,
his own honor will be forfeit, generation upon generation, until he
repairs that which was damaged and finds that which was lost.  Should
you fail to keep the oath you pledge today, the elements themselves will
reach out and destroy you.

The elements themselves will reach out and destroy you.

amy-vic:

voroxpete:

arctic-hands:

therobotmonster:

kuroba101:

prismatic-bell:

HERE’S THE THING THOUGH

I used to work for a call center and I was doing a political survey and I called this number that was randomly generated for me and the way our system worked was voice-activated so when the other person said hello you’d get connected to them, so I just launch right into my “Harvard University and NPR blah blah blah” thing and then there’s this long pause and I think the person’s hung up even though I didn’t hear a click

And then I hear “you shouldn’t be able to call this number.”

So I apologize and go into the preset spiel about because we aren’t selling anything, etc. etc. and the answer I get is

“No, I know that. What I mean is that it should be impossible for you to call this number, and I need to know how you got it.”

I explain that it’s randomly generated and I’m very sorry for bothering him, and go to hang up. And before I can click terminate, I hear:

“Ma’am, this is a matter of national security.”

I accidentally called the director of the FBI.

My job got investigated because a computer randomly spit out a number to the Pentagon.

This is my new favourite story.

When I was in college I got a job working for a company that manages major air-travel data. It was a temp gig working their out of date system while they moved over to a new one, since my knowing MS Dos apparently made me qualified.

There was no MS Dos involved. Instead, there was a proprietary type-based OS and an actually-uses-transistors refrigerator-sized computer with switches I had to trip at certain times during the night as I watched the data flow from six pm to six AM on Fridays and weekends. If things got stuck, I reset the server. 

The company handled everything from low-end data (hotel and car reservations) to flight plans and tower information. I was weighed every time I came in to make sure it was me. Areas of the building had retina scanners on doors. 

During training. they took us through all the procedures. Including the procedures for the red phone. There was, literally, a red phone on the shelf above my desk. “This is a holdover from the cold war.” They said. “It isn’t going to come up, but here’s the deal. In case of nuclear war or other nation-wide disaster, the phone will ring. Pick up the phone, state your name and station, and await instructions. Do whatever you are told.”

So my third night there, it’s around 2am and there’s a ringing sound. 

I look up, slowly. The Red phone is ringing.

So I reach out, I pick up the phone. I give my name and station number. And I hear every station head in the building do the exact same. One after another, voices giving names and numbers. Then silence for the space of two breaths. Silence broken by…

“Uh… Is Shantavia there?”

It turns out that every toll free, 1-900 or priority number has a corresponding local number that it routs to at its actual destination. Some poor teenage girl was trying to dial a friend of hers, mixed up the numbers, and got the atomic attack alert line for a major air-travel corporation’s command center in the mid-west United States.

There’s another pause, and the guys over in the main data room are cracking up. The overnight site head is saying “I think you have the wrong number, ma’am.” and I’m standing there having faced the specter of nuclear annihilation before I was old enough to legally drink.

The red phone never rang again while I was there, so the people doing my training were only slightly wrong in their estimation of how often the doomsday phone would ring. 

Every time I try to find this story, I end up having to search google with a variety of terms that I’m sure have gotten me flagged by some watchlist, so I’m reblogging it again where I swear I’ve reblogged it before.

But none of these stories even come close to the best one of them all; a wrong number is how the NORAD Santa Tracker got started.

Seriously, this is legit.

In December 1955, Sears decided to run a Santa hotline.  Here’s the ad they posted.

Only problem is, they misprinted the number.  And the number they printed?  It went straight through to fucking NORAD.  This was in the middle of the Cold War, when early warning radar was the only thing keeping nuclear annihilation at bay.  NORAD was the front line.

And it wasn’t just any number at NORAD.  Oh no no no.

Terri remembers her dad had two phones on his desk, including a red
one. “Only a four-star general at the Pentagon and my dad had the
number,” she says.

“This was the ‘50s, this was the Cold War,
and he would have been the first one to know if there was an attack on
the United States,” Rick says.

The red phone rang one day in
December 1955, and Shoup answered it, Pam says. “And then there was a
small voice that just asked, ‘Is this Santa Claus?’ ”

His
children remember Shoup as straight-laced and disciplined, and he was
annoyed and upset by the call and thought it was a joke — but then,
Terri says, the little voice started crying.

“And Dad realized
that it wasn’t a joke,” her sister says. “So he talked to him,
ho-ho-ho’d and asked if he had been a good boy and, ‘May I talk to your
mother?’ And the mother got on and said, ‘You haven’t seen the paper
yet? There’s a phone number to call Santa. It’s in the Sears ad.’ Dad
looked it up, and there it was, his red phone number. And they had
children calling one after another, so he put a couple of airmen on the
phones to act like Santa Claus.”

“It got to be a big joke at the command center. You
know, ‘The old man’s really flipped his lid this time. We’re answering
Santa calls,’ ” Terri says.

And then, it got better.

“The airmen had this big glass board with the United States on it and
Canada, and when airplanes would come in they would track them,” Pam
says.

“And Christmas Eve of 1955, when Dad walked in, there was
a drawing of a sleigh with eight reindeer coming over the North Pole,”
Rick says.

“Dad said, ‘What is that?’ They say, ‘Colonel, we’re
sorry. We were just making a joke. Do you want us to take that down?’
Dad looked at it for a while, and next thing you know, Dad had called
the radio station and had said, ‘This is the commander at the Combat
Alert Center, and we have an unidentified flying object. Why, it looks
like a sleigh.’ Well, the radio stations would call him like every hour
and say, ‘Where’s Santa now?’ ” Terri says.

For real.

“And later in life he got letters from all over the world, people
saying, ‘Thank you, Colonel,’ for having, you know, this sense of humor.
And in his 90s, he would carry those letters around with him in a
briefcase that had a lock on it like it was top-secret information,” she
says. “You know, he was an important guy, but this is the thing he’s
known for.”

“Yeah,” Rick [his son] says, “it’s probably the thing he was proudest of, too.”

So yeah.  I think that might be the best wrong number of all time.

Source:  http://www.npr.org/2014/12/19/371647099/norads-santa-tracker-began-with-a-typo-and-a-good-sport

OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS.

I’ve seen the first post a bunch of times, but never the story of How The Santa Tracker Started.

Fic Rec Friday

fangirlunderground:

🇺🇸Happy Steve’s Birthday! 🇺🇸 

It’s long overdue — and I don’t just mean for July 4th — but please enjoy my very first Stucky rec list. I’ve thrown any semblance of theme off the Brooklyn Bridge, this week. You’ll find both historical and modern AUs, short stories and epics, comedies and tragedies; and all flavors from classic Stucky to ShrinkyClinks and my newest obsession, ShrunkyClunks. (Even just saying it: ShrunkyClunks! Why is that so satisfying?)

As always, be sweet like Steve and remember to leave the authors comments and kudos so they know they’re appreciated.    

Marvel – Bucky/Steve

Bleached Bones and Fallen SnowAnd the Greatest of These [IW Spoilers] by @leveragehunters​, When he chose to become Death he wasn’t sure exactly what it would mean. He didn’t realise he’d end up leaving humanity behind completely, forgetting all the ways he used to be human. Forgetting, that was, until in the middle of a war, his power spreading itself like wings over the battlefields, he discovered one particular human it was impossible to stay away from. Brave, fascinating, irresistible: again and again, he kept coming back to Bucky. Bucky, who was never afraid of him, who seemed content to walk in Death’s shadow. If he’d known where it would lead him, where it would lead both of them, he would have tried harder to resist. (A First Avenger/Winter Soldier AU where Steve is Death.) (Teen, 16k).

A Century of Sleep, Vexed to Nightmare (Part 1 of A Century of Sleep) by firefly_ca, CW: Graphic Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage; Once, when they’re talking about his work with the V.A., Sam mentions that bad memories have a way of burrowing themselves deep down inside a person’s mind, waiting for an unguarded moment to push their way back to the surface. At the time, Steve couldn’t help but think it was unfair, that the worst moments of your life are the ones that never leave you. But memories are apparently complicated, especially when they get tangled together with emotion. Sometimes the memories that cause the most pain come hand-in-hand with the key to putting yourself back together. (A.K.A. AU where Steve and Bucky meet in a reform school, bad things happen, things get better, then worse, time passes, angst again, and finally violence of the intensely satisfying variety.) (Explicit, 71k).

Expressive Force (Part 1 of Meet Ugly) by @fannishflightsoffancy, AKA the “You punched me in the face while gesticulating wildly to a friend” AU (Teen, 3k).

Hey, Asshole! A New York City Love Story by bunnymaccool​, Bucky’s running late for the bus and he’s stuck in line behind some ridiculous shoulder to waist ratio bastard who’s too busy flirting with the baristas to get his frickin’ order in. After he tells the dude off, completely in his rights he feels, the damn oversized puppy-faced ass keeps following him around and trying to apologize. And okay, dude is hot like burnin’, but Bucky just doesn’t have the time or patience for soothing the wounded ego of some gymrat wannabe with an obsession for dressing like he’s hiding from the mob and …. why are you laughing, Sam? (Teen, 14k).

Gravity by @lillupon​, The Winter Soldier isn’t supposed to know what it means to want something. (Mature, 5k).

Leg Day by @slenderlock​, “So talk to him,” Sam says. “I can’t,” Bucky groans. “I can’t, Sam, I. He just.” He fluffs his hair up and stares at Sam, distraught. “I want him to bench press me.” “Okay, so it’s serious,” Sam interprets. “Got it.“ (Or: The one where Sam is Bucky’s long-suffering roommate, Bucky is a hot mess of a millennial, and Hot Steve spends far too much time on the Lat Pull-Down machine.) (Explicit, 12k).

Love Thy Neighbor by @anthonystan​, Bucky Barnes has a few problems with his new neighbor: 1. He’s hot. 2. He’s loud. 3. He might be a secret superhero (Mature, 7k).

Photo Booth by @copperbadge​, Seventy years ago, Steve and Bucky had their picture taken. (Teen, 2k).

Prince Charming (Part 1 of Prince Charmingby @brendaonao3​, Bucky Barnes leads quite the charmed life. He has a thriving tattoo shop, a son he adores, the world’s best dogs, and a great group of friends — almost all of whom are in relationships. And maybe he’d been the one nudging them towards each other, but there’s nothing wrong with a little match-making. The world could use more romance. As for him personally, well, he doesn’t need anyone for the long haul. Not when every girl he meets is someone who he thinks would be perfect for someone else. But then Steve Rogers comes into his shop looking for some ink, and maybe that’s the problem right there. Maybe what he’s looking for in a relationship isn’t a girl at all. (Explicit, 55k).

Side bitch out of your league (Part 1 of Stop interrupting my grinding) by @rohkeutta​, “I tried to call Sam,” Captain America says, bewildered. He’s sprinting like Usain Bolt and doesn’t sound even a little out of breath. Fucker. “Who’re you?” “Someone who’s watching you live on TV,” Bucky tells him as the tiny patriotic figure on the screen takes the turns like he instructed. Bucky should probably be a lot more freaked out about this, but honestly? After a tour in the Middle East and six years as a nurse in New York, even this isn’t enough to ruffle him. One sees a lot of shit in the ER. “Also, you better hang up now, that thing is behind the next bend.” “Uh, okay,” Captain America says. “Thanks?” “Whatever,” Bucky says, disconnects the call and turns the TV off to get ready for his shift. (Teen, 2k).

War, Children by nonymos​, After Bucky was released from the hospital, it only took him a couple of weeks to give up on himself. Difficult to believe in any kind of future when the simple act of staying alive was almost too big an effort. Out the frosted window, across the street, there was a tiny homeless guy burrowing under an awning. (Explicit, 106k).